Out of the Box

When we are young, we believe that the future contains unlimited choices for us — who do you want to be when you grow up? You can be anything! Go for it.

But as we enter the third chapter of our lives, many of us find that our field of choices have narrowed. We chose a career, a life path, and then after a couple of decades, we feel as if we’re stuck with it.

Obligations and responsibilities have piled up, and eventually it seems impossible to change our direction. Now, instead of choices and control, our lives can seem to be made up of consequences.

All those years spent sitting behind a desk, building a career? Oops, that sedentary lifestyle has left us with flabby bodies and even some health problems.

Life requires a certain amount of upkeep, too, so many of us aren’t able to leave the work world as soon as we would like. The obligations of ordinary living can leave us with, as humorist S.J. Perelman put it, “an impressive residue of silver in the hair and none whatever in the pocket.”

But we don’t have to be stuck in that rut. Once you realize you’re in it, then it’s time to take a moment to look at your life differently. We always have choices.

Of course, realizing that we do have choices, no matter what our circumstances, is both energizing and frightening. Liberating but, at the same time, confusing.

As writers, when our characters reach this point in the story, we call it The Black Moment. It’s the point at which the old familiar methods aren’t working anymore, and the character simply has exhausted every trick in their toolbox.

It’s time to get out of the box.